Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
