Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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