There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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