she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
