If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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