Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
