you win again, gameday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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