addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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