i would punch a child for taco bell
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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