is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
