Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
