She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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