Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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