So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
40s are totally the cure
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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