mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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