me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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