But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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