it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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