I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
