It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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