ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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