love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
your like the ambassador to my penis.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
