Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
