you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
