Where is the hickey?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize