regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
