would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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