I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's the barista slut.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
