She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Still dying that you shit outside
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
