he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
