I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
