So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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