time to smoke my breakfast
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
and you fell through a lawn chair
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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