Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
