So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
