Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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