i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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