I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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