i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
