it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
me + whiskey = a bad person
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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