kristin has been a bad kristin
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
