Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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