just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize