I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
