Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
