3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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