I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
