so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize