That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
