i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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