I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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