i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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