If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
